Your Story Isn’t over Yet… Butterfly
June 26, 2018
“There’s a proverb that says: “Just when a caterpillar thought the world was ending, he turned into a butterfly.”
Here’s the point: The place your pain becomes unbearable, is the place your purpose becomes recognizable. My Pastor preached this in a sermon earlier this year and it was a powerful word that stuck in my mind.
This is a beautiful concept about evolution and how your entire being can change in the blink of an eye. It’s amazing and eye opening and like nothing you’ve ever experienced before. To realize how you have grown from who you used to be to who you were meant to be. To feel like everything is falling apart and then realize that in fact everything is falling together.
It’s amazingly beautiful and a sight to see but most of us miss the beauty of the process as we complain about the change missing the biggest point of the transition until much time has passed us by.
My minds view of new concepts and perspectives had suddenly come to the forefront of my brain. The interpretation of this proverb was my exact experience. I too had become encased in my pain. The day that everything changed… I sat in my car awaiting to get my taxes prepared as I gathered myself from a breakdown. In recent days I had become homeless – sleeping in my car, no job, and no money. I was broken – everything in me was shattered. I didn’t have a smile, I didn’t have any positive words, I felt like I had nothing.
Truthfully, I had resources that I could have utilized but I had become entangled in a web of unfamiliarity – I didn’t even recognize myself so going to someone who knew me before was out of the question. It wasn’t until this point that my pain became so unbearable that all I wanted to do was figure out what my purpose was and how I could execute it.
Honestly, I kept coming up with reasons why now wasn’t the time as if now wasn’t in fact the best time. Everywhere I turned – everywhere I looked reflected something that broke me, something that had destroyed a piece of who I was – or who I used to be. I didn’t understand how I would evolve into a better me from everything I had endured – how it was meant to build me. It was this moment that broke the final glass to the mirror and told me to fight again, to have faith and hope, to find me again and become happy.
Pain became a fire underneath me and sparked something that hadn’t been lit in quite some time. In the midst of searching for inspiration I became motivated from the pain I had suffered. I no longer was a victim but a survivor who had rode the waves of the storm.
Currently we are in the year 2018 and what I see is many people are stuck in the casing of the caterpillar inside of themselves – stuck in the pain that they once suffered. The thing about pain is it’s meant to build you up. To build your character. To give you thicker skin to teach you how to ride those harder waves even when they get tough. To be stronger than you were before and stand taller than you once were.
Life can get overwhelming and sometimes it can seem as if the good will never come to the surface but I promise it will! Know that there is a caterpillar inside but by transitioning into a Butterfly you blossom into the being GOD intended you to be. Your wings allow you to flourish beyond the pain and face life like never before.
I pray that people are reading this and being encouraged that the dark place you are currently in doesn’t have to be the end. It doesn’t have to remain dark. It can become the brightest place in your life and you can evolve into somebody different – somebody better. I pray that no matter how dark the room gets you never give up. You never stop fighting to spread your wings through this thing called life.
Tomorrow marks a year… A year since I lost my third cousin to suicide. There is a special place in my heart and mind that thinks of them daily – but especially Tasia. I wrote this letter to her – to them… to share a piece of me that was honest and real. Suicide is real and people are hurting. It takes only a moment to be kind, speak positivity, and reach out to those people you see that are always happy and smiling. Something that I have learned is that although you may have family and friends around and sometimes you may even call on them you need to find something else that can ground and root you to pull you out of that place. Seek God, Seek Therapy, and Seek your Happiness. It is nothing wrong with saying the battle is too big to carry alone – and although your family and friends may try often times they simply don’t know what to do or how to do it.
* Tasia, you are missed and I love you – this one is for you cousin.
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline