The last few weeks have been a blur. As dim as the lights are in this fine jazz lounge is as dim as it’s been in my head. I’ve felt an array of feelings and quite frankly it hasn’t been easy to settle on which one to feel because they all come too fast and frequent, that sometimes I wonder which feelings are real.
Happy moments that lead to disappointing moments. Moments of being content to moments of inexplicable worrying. Moments of sadness in the midst of happiness. It’s all such a blur and groundbreaking territory for me.
In parts my familiarity with anger and rage are what kept me in that headspace for so long but it’s also due to the things I grew accustomed to know.
From the loud and aggressive wake up calls. The bottling my emotions until they are boiling out of control. The smiling when I’m not really happy, because it’s easier to lie than be vulnerable about what’s really going on. The part where I didn’t understand the context of happiness.
Finding your footing in the midst of chaos?
Simple truth: You Don’t!
If you are a millennial like myself you know all to well how our lives are non-stop going. Our world moves a million miles a minute and if you stop to find your footing you will miss the next landing.
Don’t fret! By no means does this imply that you won’t find your grounding or happiness but instead it redefines the myth that Happiness is this place you stay in Forever. As a millennial myself my beliefs are that happiness along with sadness and any other emotion are meant to come and pass us by; each one being felt for the moment it presented to us, and then released to fully process the next one.
We no longer have our slow paced lives where we went out to play and didn’t come back until the street lights came on. We no longer tap into those big imaginations to create fun and laughter from simple pleasures. We were catapulted into a world of no technology to technology beyond our imagination. We don’t take the time to listen or focus on one task.
Us millenials are moving so fast that we don’t always realize everything else won’t move as quickly as us. Sometimes happiness last longer than your last sad moment, perhaps sadness lasted longer than your last happy moment.
The misconception with moving so fast is that you don’t control your emotions and instead your circumstances and encounters do. In parts this is true, just take this first day of Spring after a long cold summer. It’s easy to be in a great mood because the sun is shining, it’s warm, and the day is beautiful, but then what happens when it’s raining and cloudy?
But you can find your grounding, and yes there is a difference.
Red lights, drums, guitars, sexy chandeliers hanging from the ceiling, lights dimly lit, and people enjoying music. Green Lady Lounge, got me back to writing.
The setting was amazing, just what my body craved and my mind needed. The secret escape to dive deeper into how I was feeling and provide clarity of what I’ve learned from those feelings. A natural Chatty Kathy, It’s enlightening and awakening to sit in a room full of strangers; perfectly content by myself. Not a word has been uttered and company wasn’t welcomed.
I needed some me time to just be in the moment for the moment and I realized that although I may not find my footing, I can find my grounding.
I can create the moments that make me the happiest and most content, like a solo date to my favorite jazz lounge. A relaxing bath with my favorite facial, book, and wine. Journaling my thoughts and coloring my story. My walks through nature while listening to Duke Ellington. A night with friends at my favorite Arcade/Bar, or a girls night in with food and conversation. Sad moments may come and go, angry ones too, but I can choose how many happy moments I have and for how long they’ll last – the secret is You Can Too!